The Gospel Truth
Back when the world was new
The planet Earth was down on its luck
And everywhere gigantic brutes called Titans ran amok
It was a nasty place!
There was a mess wherever you stepped
Where chaos reigned and earthquakes and volcanoes never slept
(Woo! Say it, girlfriend!)
And then along came Zeus
He hurled his thunderbolt
(He zapped!)
Locked those suckers in a vault
(They're trapped)
And on his own stopped chaos in its tracks
(And that's the gospel truth)
The guy was too type A to just relax!
And that's the world's first dish
Zeus tamed the globe while still in his youth
Though, honey, it may seem imposs'ble
That's the gospel truth
On Mount Olympus, life was neat
And smooth as sweet vermouth
Although, honey, it may seem imposs'ble
That's the gospel truth